I shall not, henceforth, attend weddings adorned in a saree. Especially if the wedding is held in summer, in a non AC hall, and the hall was once a movie theatre with high ceiling, so high that the innumerable ceiling fans atop like 40 feet above me rotate at top speeds but you still sweat like a pig!
Speaking of weddings, today I attended a friend's wedding where I could actually recognise the bride. Kudos to her. I don't know why but for some strange reason every bride has to look unrecognizeable with jarring makeup, garlands, Seetha pallu, designer sarees that reflect light so much that you are scared the groom's black blazer might catch fire with the reflected glare and flash from the photographer's camera. And please, all ye men who wanna wear a full suit for your wedding reception, ask yourself this question before you tie that Windsor knot with that silk tie on your wedding reception evening-
Should you follow the totally insensible idiot who first wore a black blazer with a poomaalai ( and a veeboodhi pattai or naamam)? Let's all go stone him! It looks frigging crazy! Am not even commenting on the sad plight of that cauliflower shaped flower club that the poor groom holds on to, throughout the evening.
A naalu mozham veshti and khadar sattai would make you feel great, if you are getting married in May or June in a cinema-theatre-converted-kalyana-mandapam. Save your blazers for that white collared job interview in London!
All thy elderly uncles and aunts in these weddings, just because I got married at the age of 23, to someone my mother chose, after sifting through horoscopes, blah blah, it doesn't mean that I am samatthu!! Stop asking me if I know such samathu boys/girls who want to get married to your demanding daughter/niece/son/nephew. I got married because I had a lousy career, dismal CAT scores and people at home would have written me off the family tree for leading a totally useless, insignificant life in an IT organization as a ( here comes the worst part) technical writer (heard behind my back: you know what, she is not even a programmer, all she does is write support documents!!!!! Good lord, where and how did she, born in this Bharathwaja Gothram, Sama Vedham get this 'Insignificance' gene???)! My family had a no-tolerance policy to owning these insignificant specks and decided to pack me off to another Gothram!!!! Paavam Hari had ( and I hope, still has) the large heart to welcome me into his Kausika Gothram with open arms. And poof, my insignificance vanished, when I married Hari. I mean, Hari with a significant MBA from a significant Insti. And a significant job!
Anyway, dear maami/maama, if your daughter wants a six foot tall, ruggedly handsome, IIT-IIM educated, Honda Civic driving, liberal, 7-figure annual income guy, go hunt all tuition centres, Brilliant Tutorial class attendance registers from ten years back! Or you might have to drive to Ahmadabad, Bangalore, Kolkata, Kozhikode, Lucknow, Indore, Jamshedpur, Chennai, Bombay, Delhi, Kharagpur, Kanpur.. bribe the records office peon, get the list of Tam Brahms who studied in these institutions 2 to 6 years back, hunt these profiles on Orkut/Facebook and then start talks with the parents!
30 percent of my total expense is on Tropicana Juice cartons. Would a cook who can shop for fruits on her own, crush the juice and serve it to me while I am reading random wiki posts like ' Bantu tribes of Uganda', be cheaper?
Would anyone I know be nice enough to download all songs I require, write it into a DVD and then give it to me? I am becoming paranoid about downloading stuff from the Internet. The threat of a virus inflicted crash looms heavaily! Selfishness is my middle name.
I have a huuuuuuuuge crush on Nathan Fillion, I don't miss a single episode of Castle these days! Well, Hari's huuuuge crush on Stana Katic kinda helps us in not missing the show. I want to try writing a Nikki Heat novel now!
Friday, June 4, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Random Vetti Kirukkal 1
Until almost the end of my adolescent days, I thought Anon was one super intelligent person who gave the world, 90 percent of all quotable quotes. And then, I had to find out that Anon was short for Anonymous.
I am yet to jailbreak my Ipod Touch, that Hari presented me for Valentine's day. Yet to start using it. This is the first blog post am attempting to write, 3 weeks after getting my own laptop. How lazy can I be? Not that I cook or clean much at home, the wife part of 'housewife' is true. The house part ain't. 14 outta 21 meals a week are had outside. Poor Hari. And did I miss something? Yeah, morning breakfast is strictly cereal. And preparing it consists of finding the cereal bowl, dropping a ladle of cereal into it and pouring milk over it. My LPG cylinder lasts some 8 months! Why wouldn't it?!
For some unknown reason, I am fixated on military operations and I am researching deeply about Operation Thunderbolt in Entebbe. Speaking of the Entebbe hijack operation, there was once a time when I got hooked to the name Benghazi and wanted to get a dog and name it Benghazi. Sounds great, eh? Well, now Don seems a better name for my imaginary dog.
For the first time in my life of 24 years, I walked into a bar/club/disco in Chennai, last night. And would you believe it, we were 2 crazy girls who went club hopping in autos, true Chennai Style! From Havana to Ten Downing Street and then to The Residency Towers. The Chennai clubbing scene is funny- college kids dancing among themselves- gals dance with gals and boys dance among themselves! For some reason, TDS attracts everyone in Chennai, at least it looked that way last night. I bet the place had atleast a 1000 visitors on a wednesday night yesterday! Can't imagine what the place looks like on a saturday! Btw, why's it that you are not asked for age proof in any of these places?? Most girls I see there are either anorexic or not a day older than 17. Wednesday night crowd at TDS- Caucasians who come there must think, 'whew, we have only as many people in our country'!
If every single girl I know of, wants a handsome,six footer for a husband, I wonder what happens to 99.9 percent of menfolk!
I was followed unabashedly by this crazy biker for like fifteen minutes, from Ashok Nagar to PSBB KK Nagar. I entered every street in KKN, trying to lose him and he still followed me. I parked my bike in front of the KKN Police Station for 5 minutes and started when I thought the guy had gone for good. But nope, he emerged from the crowd, a minute after I started homeward. What do you do with these psychopaths? If I walk upto him and reprimand him or create a scene, I bet he's gonna retort with 'It's a public road and I can go wherever I wish'.
Till date, I have lost six cellphones. Do I qualify for the Guinness Records? I don't really care for a certificate, I'll be happy if they award me with a cellphone.
I am yet to jailbreak my Ipod Touch, that Hari presented me for Valentine's day. Yet to start using it. This is the first blog post am attempting to write, 3 weeks after getting my own laptop. How lazy can I be? Not that I cook or clean much at home, the wife part of 'housewife' is true. The house part ain't. 14 outta 21 meals a week are had outside. Poor Hari. And did I miss something? Yeah, morning breakfast is strictly cereal. And preparing it consists of finding the cereal bowl, dropping a ladle of cereal into it and pouring milk over it. My LPG cylinder lasts some 8 months! Why wouldn't it?!
For some unknown reason, I am fixated on military operations and I am researching deeply about Operation Thunderbolt in Entebbe. Speaking of the Entebbe hijack operation, there was once a time when I got hooked to the name Benghazi and wanted to get a dog and name it Benghazi. Sounds great, eh? Well, now Don seems a better name for my imaginary dog.
For the first time in my life of 24 years, I walked into a bar/club/disco in Chennai, last night. And would you believe it, we were 2 crazy girls who went club hopping in autos, true Chennai Style! From Havana to Ten Downing Street and then to The Residency Towers. The Chennai clubbing scene is funny- college kids dancing among themselves- gals dance with gals and boys dance among themselves! For some reason, TDS attracts everyone in Chennai, at least it looked that way last night. I bet the place had atleast a 1000 visitors on a wednesday night yesterday! Can't imagine what the place looks like on a saturday! Btw, why's it that you are not asked for age proof in any of these places?? Most girls I see there are either anorexic or not a day older than 17. Wednesday night crowd at TDS- Caucasians who come there must think, 'whew, we have only as many people in our country'!
If every single girl I know of, wants a handsome,six footer for a husband, I wonder what happens to 99.9 percent of menfolk!
I was followed unabashedly by this crazy biker for like fifteen minutes, from Ashok Nagar to PSBB KK Nagar. I entered every street in KKN, trying to lose him and he still followed me. I parked my bike in front of the KKN Police Station for 5 minutes and started when I thought the guy had gone for good. But nope, he emerged from the crowd, a minute after I started homeward. What do you do with these psychopaths? If I walk upto him and reprimand him or create a scene, I bet he's gonna retort with 'It's a public road and I can go wherever I wish'.
Till date, I have lost six cellphones. Do I qualify for the Guinness Records? I don't really care for a certificate, I'll be happy if they award me with a cellphone.
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